how to live a more balanced and focused life
coffee break, fourteen ☆ june and july
3 August 2025
Dearest friend,
My core trait seems to be that I am a Jack of all trades, master of none. I can’t help myself. I want to do everything. Practically speaking, what this looks like is a scattered mindset, a (self-inflicted) harried life, and constant rabbit-hopping activity. Spanish classes, pole classes, random YouTube dance tutorials, five half-finished books, half-written short stories, incomplete crochet projects sitting at the bottom of my drawer, hundreds of opened tabs, an unused guitar collecting dust. This is the only way I know how to live! I’m interested in everything. I’m curious by nature. Sue me!! But I’ll admit that I stress myself out. I want depth, not just breadth. I want to commit. I want to actually grow and develop skills rather than immediately move on to the next new thing the moment the going gets tough.
The past two months have therefore been an intentional exercise in culling, subtracting, and honing.
I began by listing out every single thing I’m interested in or curious about at the moment, no matter how minor. I won’t share the entire list with you, but as inspiration, here are some examples: piano, pottery, the renaissance and reformation, Spinoza, Che Guevara, French cuisine, Goya, flash fiction, book binding, camping, HTML, gardening.
After the chaos of said list, I narrowed it down. I prioritised according to what was most interesting to me right now and what was most feasible (financially and practically). I also decided to focus on actionable items/activities rather than random interests (like Goya lol).
I then chose four core things that I wanted to spend the rest of 2025 focusing on.
By some standards, I’m probably still over-committing, but for my novelty-driven brain, this is what has been working for me. Each day and week still looks different, but the variation gives me enough room to breathe so that I don’t feel like I’m suffocating in monotony. The goal is consistency over a longer period of time, even if not necessarily day-to-day. So, for me, this is my way of finding balance.
My current priorities (besides my 9-5, obviously…):
→ Substack: Moving forward, I want to take writing for The Espresso Shot more seriously—that is, I’m going to set aside specific times/days to write for Substack and post my pieces consistently (once a week), even if they’re not perfectly polished. I want this page to be a space for experimentation, play, intellectual exploration, and accountability. July was a good start.
→ My super secret important writing project: The goal is to chip away at it daily, even if it’s super minimal. That’s all I’ll say about this for now…
→ Pole Dancing: I started taking classes back in 2024, but then took a loooong time off. I’ve been re-inspired to start again and have begun to train regularly. Aiming to take about 4-6 classes per month. (Shoutout to
for always answering my baby-poler questions! And for generally being so inspiring as a dancer, artist, and researcher.)→ Spanish: I’ve been taking evening classes twice a week with my husband and
. The first session is coming to an end and I plan to sign up for the next one! Going forward, I’d like to incorporate some more studying outside of the classroom.Ultimately, I just feel so lucky that I have the time, energy, and resources to do all of these things!1 To be excited about life feels like such a privilege!
What’s your relationship with your hobbies/goals/passions like? What are your biggest priorities for the next few months? I’d love to know!
the diary
My husband had a research conference in NYC in June so I tagged along! Returning to New York always feels special, no matter how many times I’ve been. I spent several wondrous days freely wandering around, eating, drinking, exploring my way through the city. I met up with a few friends and got to see the Superfine and Sargent exhibits at the Met. For my husband’s birthday, I surprised him with tickets to see a show where some of his favorite actors were performing.
Upon returning to Houston, I found my way back to old hobbies like climbing, and remembered how nice it is to enjoy something for the sake of enjoying it, rather than for progression or improvement. I dipped back into reading philosophy and theory again, too. Savored the experience of being a student without institutional pressures.
the library
Writers & Lovers by Lily King
This was less a traditional romance novel/love story, and more so a novel about making your way through life and its attendant griefs, difficulties, and heartbreaks. It reminded me a lot of The Wedding People by Alison Espach, which I read last year year around this time and also loved. Both books give me the same bittersweet yet comforted feeling. Like, life is hard and lonely and sad sometimes, but there are always reasons to keep going. New people to meet. New experiences to be had. This is one I could see myself reaching for again someday in the future.
First-Time Caller by B.K. Borison
I really enjoyed the unique characters and family dynamics. Though the book was a bit too long for my personal taste, I still had a good time!
Alexander’s Bridge by Willa Cather
This was the first book Willa Cather ever published, and it was evidently written before she found her footing and style in future works like My Antonia and O Pioneers. The marks of a budding and uncertain author are clear: the novel as a pastiche of Henry James’s writing, the hesitation of a style and voice not fully grown into itself. While Cather is known for her fiction about early frontier life, Alexander’s Bridge brings us to the city with all its rush and bustle and mayhem. Still, it remains an impressive little book—one that’s made me eager to continue reading more of Cather’s works!
Listen for the Lie by Amy Tintera
The audiobook was an elite experience! I’m a sucker for gimmicks, to be honest, and this podcast-within-a-book really hit the spot for me. The voice actors, sound design, and overall production were incredible. I anticipated the ending, but this didn’t detract from my enjoyment much. I was on the edge of my seat the entire time, and it’s led me to a bit of a thriller kick, especially ones that feature podcasts. I’m currently reading None of this is True by Lisa Jewell to scratch that itch.
the theatre
I didn’t watch any movies the past couple of months, and mainly just continued watching Lost (this is my first time watching it!) and random episodes of Impractical Jokers. I did get to watch some live theatre while in New York in June though!
Hadestown
What a dream come true for me! I’ve loved musicals since I was fourteen but haven’t seen many live, so watching this was truly a bit transcendent.
Glengarry Glen Ross
This was a birthday surprise for my husband, who really admires Bob Odenkirk (because he’s obsessed with Breaking Bad and Better Call Saul). We got to meet and get autographs from the cast after the show, which was an unexpected bonus!
Houston Symphony
Went to a Houston Symphony concert that showcased music from John Williams’s and Steven Spielberg’s partnership. The themes from Jaws and Jurassic Park were standout favorites. Phenomenal to experience in person!
the record player
I’m on (yet another) Kate Bush kick (it was her birthday recently!) because she is one of my favorite favorite favorites! Besides that, I’ve been patiently awaiting Big Thief’s new album (and listening to Lorde’s latest. Here are some other songs I’ve been playing on repeat:
the café
Moving forward, I’ll definitely be regularly revisiting Kate Wagner’s essay on writing essays. It made me think much more deeply about how I research, structure, and write, and hopefully this will make my future essays on here all the better!
Speaking of writing, here are Lydia Davis’s recommendations for good writing habits.
I’m having a bit of a moment with modernism right now, so I’ve been reading through Alfred Kazin’s Contemporaries, which is a collection of over seventy of his critical essays. The first essay, “The Background of Modern Literature,” serves as a really great overview of the progression of literary movements, from romanticism and symbolism to modernism.
Willa Cather’s 1922 preface in Alexander’s Bridge, her debut novel, provides such a lovely and encouraging piece of advice for new writers. Worth the quick read!
This substack essay by Henrik Karlsson is a sweet ode to (unexpected) friendship. About the ways we flatten people in our heads, making quick categorizations and assumptions about them that are often incorrect, and how they deserve a chance to be known better. In general, I’ve been super into Karlsson’s substack, Escaping Flatland, recently. It’s quickly become one of the few Substacks I regularly check for new posts. He writes about self-cultivation, fatherhood, and life philosophies.
Amidst our culture’s intense fear of aging and death, here is Leon Kass’s case for mortality
A poem for the road:
Cabbage Gardens
By Susan Howe
The past
will overtake
alien force
our house
formed
of my mind
to enter
explorer
in a forest
of myself
for all
my learning
Solitude
quiet
and quieter
fringe
of trees
by a river
bridges black
on the deep
the heaving sea
a watcher stands
to see her ship
winging away
Thick noises
merge in moonlight
dark ripples
dissolving
and
defining
spheres
and
snares
Place of importance as in the old days
stood on the ramparts of the fort
the open sea outside
alone with water-birds and cattle
knee-deep in a stream
grove of reeds
herons watching from the bank
henges
whole fields honeycombed with souterrains
human
bones through the gloom
whose sudden mouth
surrounded my face
a thread of blue around the coast
feathery moon
eternity swallows up time
peaceable as foam
O cabbage gardens
summer’s elegy
sunset survived
With the utmost of love,
Charlotte
Especially given that battling chronic fatigue is a lifelong struggle for me. I’m in a good phase at the moment, luckily.
Can't believe y'all got to meet Bob Odenkirk!! Yes to balance but also curious what your enneageam is!
super secret writing project LFG