Dearest friend,
Yes, things are changing!
I’ll be graduating from my master’s program in less than a week. As such, I’ve decided that now is as good of a time as any to return to The Espresso Shot, with some modifications. From now on, each month you will be receiving at least two letters in your inbox: one essay (meditations on life, fiction, or both) and one coffee break (the typical compilation of recommendations for books, music, articles, etc. that you’re used to).
Life-wise, things are changing for me too. I’ve been living in the northeast for the past three years, but as my program comes to an end, I’m thinking of what’s next, and for me that means moving.
I love change, truthfully. It’s often bittersweet, but there is comfort in knowing that I can start over, and that once again I have been given another chance in a new place. A move means that for the brief flicker of time in-transit, I can believe that things will be different this time around, that I can be different, even if it’s not really true. Novelty holds the seductive promise of potential.
With change comes change. I want an everything-refresh! Let’s start here.
the library
I recently read and loved Olga Dies Dreaming by Xochitl Gonzales and Chain Gang All Stars by Nana Kwame Adjei-Brenyah. I group the two together because they could both be categorized as what I would call on-the-nose social-political-commentary fiction — a favorite genre of mine, I’m finding. It requires skill to write a novel that contends with social issues head-on while still feeling engaging, true, and avoids pure pedagogy. These two do that for me.
Chain Gang All Stars was particularly devastating. I am, at various times throughout the day, struck by it and reminded of certain scenes. Characters and their fates pop up in my head when I least expect them to, and when that happens, I have to stop, take a deep breath, try not to fall apart. These are fictional characters, but their lives are not far off from reality.
Chain Gang All Stars takes the prison system in all its rotten, gory viscerality, and cracks its core wide open. In this dystopian rendition of our modern-day American prison, convicts fight to the death, gladiator-style, on live television. We follow the paths of the show’s top stars, as well as the abolitionist activists and super fans. Adjei-Brenyah reveals what it means to break a person’s spirit and how love can grow from, for, and between (those whom society deems) the worst of us. Empathetic, angry, vicious — Chain Gang All Stars takes readers by the hand directly into the dark chambers next door, and by the end, you will find yourself rooting for the soul of humanity itself. Read it carefully.
the record player
currently spinning
Rainbow Kitten Surprise’s newest album, Love Hate Music Box, is a departure and a renewal. It’s been six years since their last full-length project, and here, their return is also a rebrand, a shape-shift, a still-the-same-but-different sound. Previously known for their folksy, southern, alternative songs, this album feels like a venture into into new territory. I love a band that’s unafraid of trying something new, even if not everything sticks.
My favorite tracks:
Sickset
Finalist
Lucky
SVO
Code Blue
Best Man
If you liked this album, check out some of my other favorite RKS songs:
Devil Like Me
First Class
Counting Cards
All’s Well That Ends
Holy War
mixtape
Here’s a playlist for this beautiful transitional season that reminds us that life truly does return again right when you have given up hope. It’s also the return of seasonal allergies. Happy spring!
the café
If Chain Gang All Stars piques your interest in prison abolition, check out this reading list from Abolitionist Futures. Angela Davis’s Are Prisons Obsolete is also a wonderful and accessible introduction to the subject.
Vox explains divesting from Israel, student protests, and the history of past divestment movements.
It’s still been gloomy and rainy here, and this weather always makes me crave noodle soup. This Thai coconut curry noodle soup has been so nourishing and simple to make. I add an onion, red bell pepper, and a smidge of lemongrass paste to mine.
My partner and I set up two bird feeders on our balcony a few weeks ago and ever since, we’ve been giddily watching and documenting our daily feathered visitors, alongside our equally excited cat. I’ve been identifying and saving all the unique birds I see on the app, Merlin Bird ID, which reminds me of a Pokedex.
I have been enamored lately with Peripera’s Ink Mood Glowy Tint in the shade “Rose in Mind” — a beautiful glossy pink that leaves a long-lasting and hydrating stain! No other gloss/stain compares. Doubles as a great dewy blush.
A poem for the road:
The Thing Is BY ELLEN BASS to love life, to love it even when you have no stomach for it and everything you’ve held dear crumbles like burnt paper in your hands, your throat filled with the silt of it. When grief sits with you, its tropical heat thickening the air, heavy as water more fit for gills than lungs; when grief weights you down like your own flesh only more of it, an obesity of grief, you think, How can a body withstand this? Then you hold life like a face between your palms, a plain face, no charming smile, no violet eyes, and you say, yes, I will take you I will love you, again.
With the utmost of love,
Charlotte
FIRST CLASS by RKS <3